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Dating A Person With ADHD
Looking closely, there's not much to discuss when it comes to dating a person with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Generally, there is only one thing to dwell on: how are you going to make it work? 🤔
The thing is, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Moreover, it can be addressed in numerous ways depending on the couple (and the person’s ADHD). What are they willing to do to make the relationship work? Having an ADHD partner, after all, might mean you need to stretch your patience, understanding, and sacrifice. The person with ADHD might also have to put more effort into managing their symptoms, so their partner does not have to “bear it all.”
Like other couples, having open communication and paying attention to your partner's needs are still important factors in how this type of relationship works. Having to assess someone's feelings and knowing them better should be considered to make your partner feel loved.💏
Two Factors In An ADHD Relationship: Non-ADHD Partner And Partner With ADHD
There can be an instance where both of you share the same neurodivergent condition. This can be great because you both understand the emotional outbursts and numerous other things included in having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. However, let's say that only one has adult ADHD symptoms and the other person is someone that needs more insight with regards to ADHD.
To The Person With ADHD:
To make the relationship work with your partner before you start dating, it is important first to be clear with your condition. 👌
It is crucial to first accept your ADHD diagnosis and the ADHD symptoms that come with it. You also have to be knowledgeable about the condition because self-awareness is an indispensable aspect of going into romantic relationships. Why? Because ADHD plays a big role in your behavior, and sometimes, the uncontrolled behaviors or symptoms might cause your partner some difficulty in understanding you. Understanding yourself is an excellent way for your partner to understand you, too. ❤️
To The Non-ADHD Partner:
Hey! You’re such a brave soul for taking the risk in loving your partner - ADHD and all. 💪I know it won't be easy, but I do hope it's gonna be worthwhile. Your daily life might get messed up at times, but I swear to you that they don't want you to suffer. Please continue to understand their needs and try to be as open as possible. 😉 Having ADHD is hard, it really is. But going through some of the difficult symptoms of adult ADHD can be easier if they know that you are on their side. Please understand that your partner's actions aren't caused by their own will, but rather their ADHD brains'.
This is my piece of advice to you as someone who is still understanding the coping strategies to make intimate relationships work. Please try to hone your communication skills and try to persuade your partner to talk to you about how they feel. Sometimes, you might do something that's “business as usual” to you but can deeply affect your partner and your relationship.
Again, thank you so much for being extremely understanding and giving value to your partner's concerns. ❤️ You may have hurt feelings, but I promise you that what we did to cause them isn't intentional. It's our ADHD brain that is difficult to make peace with.
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The Effect of Sound Relationship on Our Mental Health
Our mental health condition is sometimes compromised when our romantic relationships aren't doing well. It might also be true for you. I have gone through it several times. A healthy relationship, though, may reflect positivity and result in healthy mental health. 😘 This can be because of the dopamine rush that we feel as if we are in our honeymoon phase.
A non-ADHD partner should consider striving to understand the condition of their partner with ADHD. A relationship should be taken seriously, true, but please still try to stay focused on the positive things. Life for a person with ADHD can sometimes be frustrating, but having a partner at your side to take the punches may give you the strength and courage to do better.
ADHD Symptoms That May Affect Relationships
Before dating someone with ADHD, it is important to know what's in it for you. Are you okay with someone who might irritate you by moving a lot? Or can ADHD affect physical intimacy? Do you need to study your partner's diagnosis first before going into a long-term relationship with them? It's really important to clear everything inside your mind before taking a partner with ADHD.
Here are some of the adult ADHD main symptoms that affect your experience in dating an adult ADHD person:
- You may notice that when you are talking with each other, eye contact isn't always enforced and your partner's attention is sometimes off even with just a few things going around you.
- Your partner with ADHD may exhibit being impulsive. Sudden outbursts of feelings might likewise shock you and catch you off-guard.
- Your partner sometimes have difficulties in time management and needs to have a "to do list" for easy organization
- Your partner with ADHD may have experience trouble completing tasks because of a lack in interest or focus
- You might notice in your early stages of dating or relationships that there are times that your partner is disorganized, unfocused, and cannot pay attention to details
- Your partner struggles a lot in reminding him or herself and has to put sticky notes everywhere, including your car keys for easy retrieval.
A Mental Health Professional Can Provide Medical Advice
Sometimes, if love and intimacy are the top priority, everything else becomes a blurred background even if they present a lot of red flags. If things go south, please don't hesitate to talk to your partner's mental health professional. This is someone who understands the condition better and can help mediate and provide medical advice on how to make the relationship work.
Seek professional help if things aren't controllable anymore. Extreme behaviors that can cause violence should not be tolerated by any person. Intimate partner violence is a real thing and it can happen to any couple, with or without Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Mental disorders may become worse when the symptoms that come with them are always tolerated.
ADHD and Dating: FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
Is a relationship hard when one partner has ADHD?
There may be challenges when at least one person in a relationship has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. However, a healthy, long-lasting relationship is also possible with open communication, understanding, and of course, love.
What ADHD symptoms may affect the relationship?
A lot of ADHD symptoms may have an impact on the relationship. For example, a partner with ADHD may struggle in paying attention, which can make the other person feel neglected. Moreover, impulsivity can also be a source of misunderstanding.
What can you do if you have a partner with ADHD?
If you have a partner with ADHD, it’s best to learn as much as you can about them and their condition. An open communication line is also crucial. Of course, if things get out of hand, it’s best to seek professional help.