ADHD & Oversharing
Being open is crucial if you want to form bonds with people, but being too open may cause problems. The thing is, when you have ADHD, you might overshare information. Here’s what you need to know about ADHD and Oversharing.
Table of Contents
ADHD & Oversharing
1. Why Some People with ADHD Tend to Overshare
2. Oversharing Can Be Talking Non-Stop, Too
3. Going Personal with an ADHD Brain
4. Oversharing Stories of Someone to Everyone
5. When We are Carried Away by our Emotions
6. Tips for Enhancing Social Skills and Handling ADHD Oversharing
ADHD & Oversharing FAQs
Why Some People with ADHD Tend to Overshare
One of the distinct traits that some people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can have is their lack of control over their impulsivity. Some may have struggled with impulsive buying and quickly spend their finances on inappropriate things 💸 or put too much of their budget on a hobby that may not even last.
Other impulsive behavior may put us in awkward or embarrassing situations, like when we interrupt people or conversations by blurting things that may be unnecessary 🎤. Our impulsivity may cause us to prevent having new acquaintances since many people might not understand how we can't control our urges to interrupt them. But with those people we are comfortable talking with, we might not realize how pleased we've become in speaking with them and might suddenly cross lines that we aren't supposed to 😨.
Most people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder tend to overshare things that might be inappropriate for everyone, especially when conversing with people we don't know. Our lack of impulse control may make us forget to keep confidential information and talk personally to those we have just met. Sometimes, we feel a little bit comfortable developing a connection with others, but we may forget how many personal details should be shared in a casual conversation 🙁.
Oversharing Can Be Talking Non-Stop, Too
While some might think that oversharing can be about giving too much information that is quite personal, oversharing in ADHD people can also be about talking non-stop to other people who may get bored in time 📣. We may even lack self-awareness and have difficulties reading social cues on when to stop talking. We may start to talk too much and let our conversation partners sit there in silence, not realizing how uncomfortable they feel with the situation. This may be one of the most significant ADHD challenges that are difficult for me to overcome.
After a long time, I met my childhood friend once again. We were very close then until she moved to a different place and stopped our communication. Since social media has been immensely helpful these days, I was able to reconnect with her and decided to see her catch up. However, little did I know that I'll spend our time mostly telling things about myself, and she was there waiting for her turn to speak up.
I remembered how I felt when we were bound to go home. Aside from her casual replies to my questions, all she ever did was listen to everything I said, from my initial reaction when she was gone to every detail of my breakup with my past partner and even about how I had my ADHD diagnosis. All she ever did was stare at me, while I could not sense how annoyed she was because it was hard for her to create chances to be heard and share what happened to her the entire time 😢.
She even messaged me when she got home. "Thank you for the most wonderful time updating me about your life. I was so thrilled to listen to every bit of your story. By the way, I am about to get married soon 💒. I was going to invite you. That's why I agree that we meet."
Going Personal with an ADHD Brain
Some people with ADHD may have the motto, "My life is an open book." However, it's not that we want it that way, but maybe because we cannot manage which details should be shared to some and who can have access to our personal information. When others may have difficulties sharing feelings, emotions, or sensitive topics, some ADHD adults may not even realize when they are already revealing too much information.
Some people may suggest that relationships, especially their details, should be kept private as it can be crucial if many people share different ideas and sentiments about a person. This may complicate the relationship and develop ill feelings between your partner and others 💔. Words spread to other people may affect the relationship, making it harder for the couple to make up and fix any disputes.
Sharing sensitive information and interests can become usual for some people with ADHD. Since our social interaction may come off slow and difficult, we may have the urge to reveal private details too soon, even without realizing it. We tend to overthink stuff and prevent dead air between conversations because our social anxiety will rise. This may result in opening up every detail there is about you, even though others may not be interested and forced to hear you out, or it may give away important information.
Oversharing Stories of Someone to Everyone
Since one of the ADHD symptoms we have to deal with is our difficulties with impulse control, dealing with other people's information and secrets may also be a struggle for us. Some adults with ADHD may often lack self-control in handling this type of information. We may have an interesting take on which details to save and for other people's consumption, but sometimes, we cannot filter out which information is too much or too sensitive to share 😭.
Imagine what would happen if one of your close friends told you about her struggles and heartbreak. Moments after your heart-to-heart talk, you came across some new people on the block and started mentioning the same information you had heard from your friend. This may damage the trust you have built and make her feel betrayed. And what if she even knew that you spread her stories because you cannot stop yourself from sharing the same information with other people? It will surely put your friendship at high risk of ending ❗.
Some neurotypicals may find us rude or uncaring since we can be careless with other people's privacy, but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. We need to learn more about controlling our impulses and practicing self-awareness when conversing with others around us 👌. Mindfulness and respecting other people's boundaries may seem like a challenge, but it is something we need to work on and practice daily actively.
When We are Carried Away by our Emotions
One of the affected executive function skills brought by ADHD to adults can result in oversharing. Our lack of emotional regulation, or how we handle feelings, can be why we cannot stop revealing too much sensitive information.
When we have high energy and get excited 🔥, our emotions may get the better of us and make us feel invincible. When we are too happy, we always tend to talk fast and without thinking twice. Once we let our guard down, it may not be easy to control which information is too much or too little. When we are angry 💢, even if we might feel wrong, there's that chance of losing our cool and starting to talk without considering the details.
After our emotions have subsided, we realize that we have revealed too much, which may lead to heated arguments or complicated situations. This is why we need to learn how to manage our emotions before speaking out, as it can help prevent the unintentional oversharing of sensitive information.
Tips for Enhancing Social Skills and Handling ADHD Oversharing
ADHD and Oversharing: FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
1. What is oversharing of information?
Oversharing information is when you reveal more information than is necessary or when you say things that should not be discussed.
2. Is oversharing a symptom of ADHD?
Officially, it’s not. However, some symptoms of ADHD - such as being forgetful and getting impulsive - can cause you to share too much information to others.
3. What are the effects of sharing too much information?
Oversharing can put a strain on relationships, not to mention other people might get worried about telling you details about their life in the fear that you’ll reveal it to others. Moreover, it can also cause trouble at work due to confidentiality.